The 3 hardest things to say:

1. “I was wrong.”
2. “I need help.”
3. “Worcestershire sauce.”

I want to stress that Kyiv’s off peak frequency while being invaded is better than nearly all of America’s transit systems during peak. I’m genuinely at a loss of words. https://t.co/kySKx2QK1g

I abandoned my @madebygoogle Chromecast with Google TV because it just didn't have enough storage space. I assumed it would be better than a @Xiaomi Mi Box, but I was wrong.

The funny thing about this tweet is that I accidentally drowned the succulent I originally had on my desk, and the plant actually *is* a cactus.

On the other hand, is it actually funny if I have to explain the inside joke I have between my desk plant and I? Maybe debatable. twitter.com/JasonsPlant/st…

Anyone else remember light alive? Was this a thing in Canada? doyouremember.co.uk/memory/lights-…

It’s definitely got chillier.




“I forgot where our office building is, and I’m too afraid to ask.” — Nolan Sheppard (Sales Rep) bit.ly/3A4qCYP

The Seán O'Casey bridge in Dublin was designed to swing open to allow ships to pass through.

It stayed closed for four years after the operator lost the remote control.

(Image: Peter Misik; CC BY-SA.) https://t.co/8laWccR5Ag

🤣 "It’s political correctness gone mad" - reaction as the UK appoints first simpleton Prime Minister flip.it/3kqjzi

Streamed a Christmas episode of a show we're watching, and it inspired me to get tickets to this for @asiancwgrl and I. ⛄🎄 calgaryphil.com/events/home-al…

The cloudiest city in the US gets more sunlight than the sunniest city in England.

Wife cracks open her eye ever so slightly at 6am

Me: what we thinkin for dinner?! We have those pork chops in the freezer or I could make soup. I’d never turn down pizza either haha

absolutely the best thing you'll see all day, month, year, century https://t.co/lOT0cFdie6

Happy international left-handers day from @asiancwgrl and I! I was looking for a left hand emoji, and this is the only one: 🤌🏻

5.1 l/100km. I managed to get it down to 5.0 at one point, but I haven't managed to crack into the 4s yet. https://t.co/wUFgX3khRQ

We are speechless. Today we had the highest amount of vet requests come in. From 6:30am to 3pm we had 17 calls. We are sad that we won’t be able to support everyone. Our donations have reached new lows and we are doing our best to manage the growing need for our programs

In response to the raid on his property, Trump's personal lawyer Rudy Giuliani is holding a press conference at the Ritz https://t.co/elnqHcf1qC

Love my Instant Pot. Makes cooking a breeze. Just tossed in an apple and a cup of water and in 25 minutes I had a really hot apple. https://t.co/aCVdWDWA3R

The world's most overdue library book was 287 years overdue when it was returned.

Colonel Robert Walpole borrowed it from Sidney Sussex College in Cambridge in 1667.

His biographer found it among his papers, and returned it to the college in 1956.

CYMROPHOBIA is fear of the Welsh.

Do I need an enterprise-grade, rackmount server for the house? https://t.co/QBO6N4v4Pg

“No, I’m not joking, buddy. Take that little hat off. No religious symbols are permitted in Quebec.” #cdnpoli #qcpoli https://t.co/Qenrul2Z28

“Pasta con le sarde a mare” is a Sicilian dish consisting of pasta with no sardines in it - literally “pasta with sardines [that are] in the sea”

This car is so ridiculously efficient that it maxes out the “distance to empty” countdown on the dashboard. I hate it. https://t.co/VRqvLLj6aF

Woof woof, bark bark.

New art is up in the stairwell! It's called “Lights of Winter” by @janicemather. It's a scene looking down Stephen Ave from Centre St 🎨

PLEONASM is the term for redundant expressions - like "ATM machine", "hot water heater", or "free gift".

We have purchased an art! More photos to come once it's hung, I'm sure. It's called “Lights of Winter” by Janice Mather and it depicts Stephen Ave at Centre St here in #yyc. https://t.co/AcrX0V5F9f

Meanings of "I beg your pardon"

1. I didn't hear you
2. I apologise
3. What you're saying is making me absolutely livid

Bark woof woof, bark bark.

Current topics of conversation in Britain:

1. How it’s hot
2. How it’s going to be hotter next week

That’s it.

Bark bark woof bark woof!

please stop telling me things about this family twitter.com/popbase/status…

Alexander #hamilton
Can't wait!!! Date night with @jaywll
#broadwayacrosscanada @ Calgary, Alberta instagram.com/p/Cf7zCtDJW2EV…

Facts are meaningless. You can use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true. HOMER SIMPSON

I mean, hindsight is 20/20 and all, but yeah. How was this not a thing until now?

Got a menu in the mailbox for a place that offers “genuine chicken.” I think I'll pass. https://t.co/rV3mczGKF2

In 1915 this guy went out, on the instructions of his wife, to buy a set of dining chairs and came home with Stonehenge. history.com/news/the-man-w…

The Rogers outage in Canada is still ongoing, after almost 15 hours.

We've updated our blog post about it with some more details, including new attempts and a small glimpse of traffic:
blog.cloudflare.com/cloudflares-vi… https://t.co/B4ngS27sWJ

Kinda tired today so I tried one. I still don't know what I feel. It actually tastes alright, but somehow that's not enough to make it OK that it exists. /cc:@wastedgenius twitter.com/JayWll/status/…

I for one welcome our new wasp overlords. 🐝 https://t.co/qviKKB6vK5

This seems bad, but at least we were able to beat that virus thing that was going around. twitter.com/CTVCalgary/sta…

Bark, bark, bark bark woof.

#Shrinkflation in the wild! A “celebration size” bag of peanut butter M&Ms didn't used to fit in my M&Ms jar, and now it does. https://t.co/RLg3qE3Ysx

Bark bark.

Bark bark bark bark bark.